Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
