Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
