Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
