she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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