I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
