All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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