Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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