home. puking in laundry basket.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
