You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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