24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
