Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
