Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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