woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
