At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
