saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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