Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
