I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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