Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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