maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
