im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
