I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
A+ Viking dick
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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