wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Randomize
