she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
