So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I deserve this hangover.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
