Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Tornado booty call.. dedication
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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