call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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