So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
