guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
