Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
