The maid of honor just puked.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
