I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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