Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
