Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
