HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
