I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
