I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm at about main and main street
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
