I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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