Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
