Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
