i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
