dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
