im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Randomize
