If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
