I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
