i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Randomize
