it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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