im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
