i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
