: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Semen is not good for contacts.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize