Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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