Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I have feelings that need drinking.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
