capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
