Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
