You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
