Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
