it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
