I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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