I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize